I love poop talk. As a tubie momma, it ranks up there with bile and vomit, my other faves. I like to think of poo as the window to the GI tract. It gives us so many clues as to what is going on: formula tolerance/intolerance, dumping syndrome, dysmotility, illness and so on. We scrutinize it, looking at consistency, color and texture. We measure quantity and keep track of frequency. Differences are noted, questioned. We ask other tubie mommas. We post pictures. We freak out others who don’t understand why we are obsessed with poo.
Recently, I left my husband home alone with my son. We were waiting on a poo, so I got the text message that it came. This is our actual conversation:
DH: Another little poo. Hard form.
Me: Add some prune during the day if you can
2 hours later
DH: Man size poo. BIG POO!!! Wanna keep it so u could see. Real man poo. Well formed & big. Going swinging now.
Me: LOL!!! Should have taken a pic. Doesn’t need more prune.
DH: Definitely no prune. Think size of fist.
Sadly, this may not be our only conversation like this in my phone. It just happened to be the last.
There are many kinds of poop that tube feeding brings, this is definitely not an exhaustive list. Consider it a highlight reel.
Elecare Poo: Elecare poo might just smell better than Elecare vomit. When you Google “Elecare Poop” you will see more than 60,000 results. It will offer you suggestions like “Elecare poop mucus.” If you click on images, you will see some familiar looking diapers.
Neocate Poo: Google suggests colors for Neocate poop: “Neocate poop green” and “Neocate poop black.” There is even a blog on the Neocate site, “Baby Poop: What’s Normal and What’s Not.”
You can pretty much look up any formula and find info on what type of poop it produces and more likely than not, someone has linked a picture.
Blenderized Diet Poo: From what I hear, it just looks like poo. Regular poo that varies with what is in the blend. Imagine that.
J feeding Poo: In my experience J feeding poo was runnier, more mucusy and greener. It was definitely different than G feeding poop, even with the same formula.
Re-feeding Bile Poo: The temptation to include my other favorite topic was just too great. Bile poo can be yellowish and mucusy.
Barium Poo: I am really thankful that after my son’s first swallow study the SLP told me to expect his poo to be white for a day or two. WOW, barium poo can be very white.
Virus Poo: I find virus poo to look a little whitish. There is also a textural change that makes it grainy.
Rotavirus Poo: More diarrhea poo than I have ever thought possible to come out of an infant so small.
C-Diff Poo: Has a particular smell to it. We haven’t had it, but I have a feeling it is a smell that sends mommas into PTSD if they had it before.
Constipation Poo: Oh, those sad turds. They always leave you wanting more and running for a stool softener.
Prune Poo: Or what I have begun to call prune poo: runny on the outside with a well formed center.
But even my love of poo has its limits. I recently discovered my breaking point is the OrganWise Guys that are currently running inbetween the programming on PBS Kids. They are puppet organs aimed at healthy eating habits. Great cause, but they freak me out. Peri Stolic is a talking large intestine. Sir Rebum is a brain, you can tell that because of his graduation cap.
It was the video on the “What Does the Large Intestine Do?” that got me going, so to speak.
All I kept thinking was, “more free water, more free water!!”