Finding Rest in the Constant Storm

About a year ago, we were really struggling with our daughter. She had hit her tween years, had her second cochlear implant completed, and was totally on full meltdown mode most days. We set a meeting with her doctor to ask what he suggested.

His number one suggestion was finding rest in her schedule. It seemed so obvious, but somehow we had missed that so important need. We felt like we should push to do more activities, more sports, et cetera.

We went home and took a hard look at the schedule we were maintaining and how we could carve out time to rest and restore. We decided quickly that weeknights would be mostly spent at home. We do occasionally go to events on a school night, but they are rare and few and far between. We also decided we would look long and hard before deciding to say yes to activities on the weekend.

This is not an easy process, and it can be hard to say no to fun events. However, when we tried it for a few weeks, we quickly saw a big change not only in our daughter who was having sensory overload, but also in our other child and ourselves.

We all need rest to recharge both physically and mentally. For our daughter with her hearing devices, her brain works hard all day to focus and decode what she is hearing. So, by 5:00pm she is exhausted and barely hanging on. If we have a safe and calm place to come home and decompress, she is able to maintain calm and not go into full-on meltdowns. We had to really look at everything on our schedule and decide if each activity was really worth taking her calm time away. Sometimes it really is, and if we plan well, we carve out more rest somewhere else that week.

Weekends are so key to finding rest for sensory-overloaded kids. We try to allow for as much freedom in our schedule to do what we would like. We do have errands to run and fun events are always happening, but we do them with purpose and reasoning. We also try to maintain most of one of the weekend days to allow naps, outside play, and time to do fun family things like cook meals together or watch movies in our PJs. We all find that when we don’t spend all weekend running around we are happier and ready to face the week.

In our culture, more is the name of the game. However, our children need less. Do not be afraid to allow time for naps, for long walks in the woods, time to color, read a book, or just sit and do nothing. Our kids need this time to create and explore, to decompress and recharge.

Allow your schedules to have less to do and more freedom. Your whole family will be happier and calmer for it.

Rachel Zook is a mom to two beautiful children. Emma is 12 and is medically complicated. She loves art, music, and cooking. Taylor is seven and he loves to draw and take marital arts. Rachel spends her time caring for her family, working at the library she loves, and crafting to relax. She and her husband Daniel love to have fun adventures with their kids.